Senin, 06 April 2015

The problem with being an uncle


This blogger is of an age when being called an uncle is rather a compliment. He is precariously close to being called a grandpa. So much so that he cannot understand the brouhaha that the term "uncle" has caused.

The Air India flight from Jaipur to Delhi , a few days back, should have been an uneventful one. Incidentally, I am not sure why Air India is running a flight from Jaipur to Delhi .  The distance is short and tourists usually drive. Perhaps the appalling state of NH8 in that stretch  is giving Air India an opportunity.

Be that as it may, it should have been a short smooth flight. Passengers had boarded and the crew were doing their pre flight checks. It so happened that the Captain was a young guy and the Co pilot was, ahem,  a rather older guy. Reportedly, the Captain said "Uncle please fill in the card".

It is well known that men of a certain age are rather touchy about being reminded of that fact. That is why Viagra is the blockbuster it is ! Our co pilot took immediate umbrage to being called an uncle (I suppose he would have been tickled pink if the Captain had instead said - "Bachche isko fill kar" !!). He decided to show the young upstart that his physical prowess had not waned. Up he stood and it appears some sort of a confrontation took place. I speculate that the altercation was more verbal than physical - an sudden attempt by men of advanced years to stand erect is usually not successful. Well, whatever happened, the crew decided in the best of Air India's tradition, that passengers must get from Point A to Point B and the flight took off.

Now young straplings who are chastised by "uncles" often howl in outrage. That's exactly what happened. The Captain reported the incident at the end of the flight. Obviously an enquiry has been ordered and pending the outcome, both the "bachcha" and "uncle" have been derostered.

The enquiry proceedings will undoubtedly make interesting reading. Leading counsel shall submit the chronological qualifications for being called an uncle. To the best of my knowledge, the term uncle has not been defined in the constitution as an unparliamentary word. The trouble is that for a certain portion of a male's life it is a deeply offensive word and at a later portion in the same man's life it is a deeply complimentary word.  I am looking forward to the enquiry findings which shall conclusively prove that I am not of that age when it has become compliment. I shall use this evidence to bash the next idiot in my building who calls me that.

But, thank God for the fact that women pilots are relatively, rarer. Imagine the consequences if the copilot was a lady, of ahem, matronly disposition and the young man had said "Aunty, please fill in the card" ! We just escaped a nuclear Armageddon !
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